


It's Just a Coincidence

by darth_stitch



Category: The Hobbit (2012), The Hobbit - All Media Types, The Hobbit - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: BB!Frodo is just as bad, Bilbo is doomed, Fili and Kili are Life Ruining Little Shits, Humour, Kid!Frodo, M/M, Mpreg, Slash, Then again maybe not, Thorin is not helping
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-12
Updated: 2013-02-12
Packaged: 2017-11-29 02:29:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 463
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/681685
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/darth_stitch/pseuds/darth_stitch
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's pretty funny how Bilbo and Thorin's collective nephews all look like their adorable, MPREG love children.</p>
            </blockquote>





	It's Just a Coincidence

Originally posted at [The Blanket Fort - Darth Stitch on Tumblr](http://darthstitch.tumblr.com/post/42869096881/bilbos-not-sure-how-it-happened-but-he-did-know)

 

[ ](http://darthstitch.tumblr.com/image/42869096881)

Bilbo’s not sure how it happened but he did know who to blame for this fiasco.

For heaven’s sake, even Bilbo’s _relatives_ got in on the act, all cooing over his and Thorin’s “three lovely boys” and oh, although it must have been painful, giving birth to three strapping dwobbit lads, it must have been all worth it.  And then, the other ladies started in on their own horror stories about their own birthing experiences and Bilbo ended up learning more about _that_ than was safe for his own peace of mind.  

Bilbo’s _relatives_ , mind you, who knew perfectly well that he lived a perfectly respectable _bachelor_ life with _no_ children running underfoot, _before_ he was whisked away to adventure by thirteen Dwarves and a Wizard.  Honestly, Bilbo would have had to be in his _tweens_ to be old enough to give birth to _Fili_ _,_ just going by Fili’s looks and actions, because Fili would pass for an irresponsible tween in his hobbit years, given the difference between Dwarf and Hobbit ages!

Thorin, blast and confound that Dwarf, was no help at all, given that his reaction to this was simply to smile smugly and puff up like a dragon with a brand new hoard.  It was terribly unfair, because while Bilbo was sorely tempted to introduce his best wooden spoon to Certain Dwarven Kings’ heads, _Thorin’s_ smile was also enough to make Bilbo forget about the whole thing and kiss him silly.  Or sillier, which was, as Bilbo had long known, a Very Good Thing Indeed. 

And then little Frodo, sweet darling boy that he was, simply turned on those Deadly Weapons of his - those big beautiful blue eyes that were, coincidentally, very much like Thorin’s, of all things and said, “Mama!”  And then he demanded to be picked up and snuggled and how on earth was Bilbo supposed to say no to _that?_   Especially when, even though Frodo was his _nephew_ and not his son, Frodo was suddenly overlain with an image of how Thorin must have looked as a wee dwarfling?  

All poor Bilbo could do was direct his very best Glare of Death in the direction of one, dark-haired, giggling nephew-by-marriage.  _“Kili!”_

Bilbo nuzzled into Frodo’s dark curls with a sigh.  Really, he was happy with his three boys and his husband.  He did suppose, however, that vengeance would be very, very sweet indeed,  He had never gotten around to telling Thorin and the two older boys about his Tookish blood, the old Took family story about one of his ancestors taking a Fairy Husband.  

And these days, he’d been feeling quite ill in the mornings and would suddenly have these very odd cravings for fried mushrooms and bacon…

***

**Author's Note:**

>  **Note:** Doom and Crack upon me, yes, I know this all too well….
> 
> **Note the Second:** It WOULD just be like this, right? Fili, the responsible Eldest, Kili the Irrepressible Middle Child and Frodo the Mischievous Baby.  And THEN…. a FOURTH child OMG WTF….
> 
> Boy or Girl?  Names?  Anyone have any suggestions?


End file.
